Bend that missile up yo ass

(Rated R for *extreme* profanity and indecent language)

A "Bend it like Beckham" quip keeps playing itself in my head like a broken record. It goes like this:

"Paula: Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!

Wedding Guest (older woman): She's not Lebanese, she's Punjabi!"

(from IMDB)

So, this may be a sick way to find humor in the Lesbian-Israeli war. But what am I upset about in the first place? CNN's tacky war footage. It has put on line everything -- my reporting experience, my j-school theory, my granny's mattress, you name it.

The iceholes at CNN garbaged it all overnight with their dumbf*** coverage.

Point in case: the dickwads at Hezbollah treating journalists like their whores. Even I wasn't had this bad during my sloppy ground coverage. CNN's a sitting duck dishing out Hezb propaganda to the world.

Wanna walk? Follow Hezb PR. Wanna pee? Sorry, all bathrooms destroyed by Israelis. Hezbollah's taking CNN for a ride -- making people shed fake tears, simulating false sirens of empty ambulances to show the world how peace loving and innocent they are. Oh, did a missile just fly over my head?

Just like WW1 coverage. Studios created war scenes, with Hollywood artists became Rambo Jrs and destroying Commies without a casualty. Their acting was so bad, we needed the Vietnam War to regain trust in Hollywood.

Video cameras criss-crossed Vietnam shooting images depicting death and despair. Hippies, who needed an excuse to have dope and free sex, hit the street like it were some Bob Marley concert.

"This gizmo called camera is bad news for our propaganda effort," the US military realized, finally getting with the program.

And then came the "embedded journalist," the ultimate f***tard of a concept that rubbished my j-school knowledge. Reporter became military's bitch, sat in cool tank to see desert all day long.

And the Israelis? If they had more planes, they'd knock out all mediapeople in the world, period. If you're in the way, they'll stick a missile up your ass. A bit crude, but atleast they're being honest about their intentions.