Dial-a-smile and checking out women

Try this: when walking across a woman, establish eye-to-eye contact, flash your wonderful smile to her, and you might get a smile back. This happened when I was on my way to lunch, making my day and leaving me radiant.

My first thought was "she checked me out," but hey, women always smile when I give them my million-buck gleam. What was even more thrilling was her stunning smile and beautiful eyes.

I'm a modest man, what can I say. Yeah, right!

On I walked a happy man through a parking lot, but a bark broke the smile up. Scared and ready to run, I looked back and forth, and heard another bark. Stuck in a heavily tinted SUV was a poor dog, who wanted to be free like me, you, India, US, Bashkortostan and Republic of Congo. I couldn't help the unfortunate dog, so on I walked.

As I moved out of the parking lot and turned left, a beagle started sniffing my leg. At a friend's barbeque last weekend, a beagle took love for my leg and fell asleep on it, so either this beagle could smell dope, or fell for my legs. I ran, shouting to the beagle's owner that my legs had no dope, my smile degenerating into caution. Beagles have a strong sense of smell, so beware. If you really have dope, a harem of beagles will surround you.

I tried the smile stunt again on a woman rushing against time, but no feedback. She maintained the same cold attitude before and after spotting my smile. It was obvious: she needed food. Hunger can do crazy things to people.

Then a whisk of the past came to mind.

In India, a woman spotted my friend checking her out and asked: "Why are staring at me?"

"Appreciate it," he said, "it is because you are beautiful."

Then I reach the restaurant, and the woman ahead of me kept looking sideways to see who was standing behind her. She couldn't gauge my interest in her as my head moved left, right, anywhere but in her direction, though my eyes were in her direction, intent in checking out what she completely looked like. She moved behind and shouted, "Such a long time!"

There was Rach, who put the smile back on my face. And it was good seeing her after such a long time.