The darker side of M*A*S*H*

RoboCop was great -- it could clean the world without actually drinking beer. I've never seen that movie and never want to, but my real RoboCop would be a Parsi woman who does nonstop blabber blabber. She just has to open her mouth to clean the world.

A "cocktail drug" is the U.S. Army's way of creating its own RoboCop -- a drug administered to humans making them more resistant to chemical and biological weapons.

And more resistant to everything. Before the 1991 Gulf War, the entire U.S. Army was administered with a pill by the Pentagon pantywaves.

A few years after winning the Mother of All Wars, some war vets started complaining about hallucinations, fatigue and psychological issues. The Pentagon knew something was wrong; so to save their skin, they spinned the story that they suffered from the "Gulf War Syndrome," more like a war side-effect gained while running into certain weapons during the Gulf War, perhaps chemical or biological.

The theory was disputed by veterans who said it was caused by the "cocktail drug" administered by the army to make them RoboCops. A case was filed in the court, saying that it wasn't GWS, but a side-effect of the "anti-nerve gas tablets forcibly administered to military personnel in the Gulf region" at that time.

A British study and the medical community also refused to accept the existence of GWS.

The U.S. being the U.S., we had to compare ourselves to the French. The French never showed GWS side-effects, even though they dressed, ate and lived the same way. The only difference: they weren't administered the cocktail drug.

And they perhaps had too much wine everyday.

Essentially the Pentagon was trying another cover up. The spin doctors there are still trying to legitimize GWS theory, though people aren't buying it. Who knows what the truth is, but the "cocktail drug" is just one part of a darker side taking over US Army's medical central. Who knows what advanced biotechnological theories they are coming up with.

There is a remote chance of me ending up in a M*A*S*H*, because I prefer video-game boom-baam over fighting in a real war. MASH stands for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. It's a watered down version of a real Army hospital.

Anyways, I'm not as brave as the U.S. Army men and women, and whatever may be the political hazzle-dazzle, when the army is doing its job we need to shed our differences and support them.

If I were a singer, I'd perform in Iraq to keep their spirits alive. They'd perhaps wrestle me down before I reach the microphone. My sound would demoralize them more.