Seen and heard...

Seen in San Francisco over the last few days:

1) "Wife and dog kidnapped. Please help"

The sign of a homeless man seeking cash. Should I buy the story or not? The answer came pat.

"No checks please."

2) Sugar

The lighted neon sign of a new Hayes Valley restaurant, with a dark 'y' at the end. Out of curiousity, I checked in with their staff. It's original name was "Sugar-y," but they changed it. Doesn't matter -- both names are cheesy. Restaurant was packed, looks good.

Heard:

3) "Fu-tang"

Aunt wondered what a "futon" was. Told her about my futon sale, and she rattled out in all gujju-ness: "fu-tang? fu-tang soo chhe?" (what is fu-tang?). She's cool, part of the Fu-tang Clan. Like one of me homies.

4) "Snakes will eat you"

Mom, encouraged by the movie title Snakes on a Plane. Pajushan, a Jain festival, is on, and we're not supposed to eat green veggies, meat or dunkin donuts. Out of respect for granny, Mom requested we atleast not eat meat.

Being the useless, rebellious child, I declared "No, I'm gonna eat a mutton-chicken combo, what are you gonna do?" An angry Ma retaliated "Snakes will eat you one day then." So, I'm off meat for now.