Khakra

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Taming Chewbacca

I become Chewbacca every few months -- my hair grows into a tropical jungle, and it needs a home cut. It's an easy job; get a razor and buzz it off. Something not worth spending $20 on.

"Your hair has jammed the building pipes and it needs to be cleared," said my bald neighbor who knocked on my door one day. "I have to spend $115 to have the pipes snaked," he said. His first appearance in 2-1/2 years.

The guy is an a-hole, so good for him. To make his life tougher, I wanted to ask for evidence. I wanted him to dig his hand into the dirty pipe, pull out some of my hair, bring it up, show it to me, fall to my feet and beg for mercy. Right, you a-hole, if you don't have any evidence, I will press charges for threatening a person pointlessly. What we'd call Chinese torture.

It had to be my hair though. He is bald, and my roommate is red-headed.

"You have wonderful genes and your family has wonderful black hair," he said. For some reason, I apologized immediately. Naturally, the guy was talented in dealing with weirdos like me. He spent the $115 to snake the pipes thankfully.

A few weeks later, the latest salvo from his inventory of complaints hit the laundry room, which said "PLEASE CLEAN THE LINT AFTER USING THE DRYER." Grrr. Another one followed a few weeks later -- this one in the laundry room's cabinet -- "Please identify and label your laundry products by Saturday or they will be discarded." I feel like jamming the pipes again.

But Halloween's coming -- after being a leprechaun, a Powerpuff Guy-Superman mix and a morgue consultant over the last three years, it'll be nice to be a real life Chewbacca. No papparazzi please.

10 Comments:

Blogger Chick Pea said...

i find it pretty damn humourous that we both wrote about our hair the same day..

damn we're on the same wavelength.. har har har.. love the punny business ;)

5:25 PM  
Blogger Khakra said...

beanie baby, saw your post on hair and i'm like.. i better put my entry out as quickly as possible before I am accussed of being an a-holic plagiarist. you're an innovator leaving a blazing trail!

7:01 PM  
Blogger Chick Pea said...

so i'm thinking of being frankensteins bride for h-ween... my hair would be like 4 ft up straight sky high... aquanet stock would go up like mad ;)

10:03 PM  
Blogger venus said...

Chewbacca!?!? be prepared to get identified as one of our ancestors! they may put you in a cage in their labs and do all kinds of tests on you to prove that you are the only one surviving our ancestor's species :D
but for that u'd need an addition of a long hanumaan tail to make this drama up!

9:52 AM  
Anonymous olivia said...

I don't think I want to travel right now, not for a few years, you know? I did it for basically 2 years straight, and that's enough for me. It makes me sick to pack things at this point, you know?

1:22 PM  
Blogger Khakra said...

Hear ya Olivia because i've gone through that phase. The amount you've traveled some of us won't do in our lifetime, and its difficult to be a nomad. And anyways, a few years later I'd be able to dish out some better quality sources in Benin! But seriously, take a shot at the Ph.D. Honestly, what you said just answers the question. You're not keen on traveling, so go for the Ph.D. A no-brainer.

Venus, venus, you have some crazy thoughts in your mind!! I might as well go and save some Sita-behn in distress to add some drama to the ancestral testing. Two in a cage better than one. Did you hear the original Chewie got some award?

3:43 PM  
Blogger square peg said...

khakra, thanks for the tip you left for me. Have you seen Harriet Meier's blog? harrietmeiers.blogspot.com
Hilarious, yo.

6:28 PM  
Blogger ME said...

Didn't know american drains could be blocked by a few strands of hair. Shall we export u some?:)

6:48 AM  
Blogger venus said...

dear K, and make sure u call her "Sita BHABHI"!!

I'm having fun in pulling your leg for a change :P

yeah, i remember hearing @ it, i think it was not for his chewie role, but for something else.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Khakra said...

sita bhabhi my foot venus, if i save a behn, no matter how gujju or martha stewart she is, i want payback.. oh yeah, i can be a bast***!!

haha me, don't worry! will find it near chowpatty.. or i'll head back to stone age and find khakra clones

5:52 PM  

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