The Chinatown peace de resistance

One great tidbit about Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Zhang Ziyi's romantic scenes were shot in the Xinjiang province of northwestern China, which borders the Central Asian nations and is the largest region in China I believe.

Sparsely populated, Xinjiang's vast expanses as shown in Crouching Tiger are rigid, but beautiful -- it is home to the Taklamakan desert, beautiful, mountains, lakes and greenland.

Urumqi is the regional capital, the world's largest "inland" city, or the farthest city from any major water source, the Chinese claim (Pronounced -- Oo-room-chee). The city and the region were both part of major Silk Road routes. The city's malls are said to be the size of numerous soccer fields, though I never got to check them out. It's like a mini-Shanghai -- an active and bustling city that's not necessarily Central Asian or Chinese.

When the Chinese say they fight terrorism, they refer to the ethnic Uighur peoples, whose separatists are waging a war against China's effort to wipe out their cultural identity. Han Chinese now dominate major cities like Urumqi, slowly wiping out the Uighur remnants.

The Uighurs, who are Muslim and speak a Turkic language, are demanding independence and want their own nation, citing differences with China and the Han Chinese.

Their looks might explain it: A generic middle-aged Uighur man can be described as having uniquely Mongoloid features with darker skin than the Chinese. It's more Mongolian and Central Asian, related to Genghis Khan, than pure Chinese.

On the Karakoram Highway stands Kashgar, where some fine examples of the Uighur culture are alive -- so colorful that it could remind you of Tibetan culture.

So to keep this fine culture alive, preserve it. Though proud Uighurs are fighting a weak battle, with limited money and resources, they are economically better off with China. This is a bad thing to say, but it's the truth.

Like the old Silk Route days, Xinjiang acts as a gateway to Central Asia and the rest of Europe, one reason why China wants this region. In the old days, roads passing through this region allowed China to deliver products to Europe, Eurasia, and the rest of Asia and the Middle East. It is happening today too.

A trader I spoke to in Bishkek said he made three trips a week to Urumqi to deliver Ceylon, or Sri Lankan, tea to buyers from other countries -- and he explained how. He made occassional trips to Sri Lanka and New Delhi, picked up tea supplies and had more delivered to him in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan's capital. Urumqi acted as a hub where buyers from other countries bought the tea from him, and he made a neat profit every month.

Like him, hundred of businessmen fill flights to Urumqi from Central Asian cities of Bishkek, Tashkent and Almaty trying to make day trades in fruits, vegetable, clothing, electronics and just about every item we use everyday. China today ships through Xinjiang cheap products to Russia and Central Asia, like it does to the rest of the world through its other cities.

Playing hardball for a while with separatists in the region has paid off for China -- it has now discovered oil and minerals in the region, which will expand its importance. Urumqi is becoming an important base camp as more businessmen find opportunities and more discoveries are made in western and northwestern China.

For the Uighurs, not only are they fighting a brick wall in China, they are also limiting themselves from joining a booming economy. Getting stuck in a stagnant Central Asian economy means poverty and suffering, like their neighbors. The Chinese are there to build them an infrastructure from scratch, which is difficult to do.

Of the 20 million-odd people in Xinjiang, Uighurs number around 8 million people. The Chinese have denied them religious freedom, cracked down on their cultural identity and tortured prisoners over there, according to Human Rights Watch.

HRW delivers occassional regional reports containing Chinese torture on Uighurs, and that won't stop until the Chinese reach a certain comfort level that the region is well under their control. The Uighurs are waging a dirty battle too, and it could turn into terrorism hub if not controlled.

The U.S. is already holding a few Uighurs in Gitmo, indicating that terrorist's tentacles are already reaching them. Uighurs were found fighting U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan, an indication that some have been radicalized in the wake of alleged Chinese torture. I hope that doesn't further develop, or the Chinese will have no option but to crack down on them.

The Uighurs are alive and happy though, and along the border with Central Asia and Mongolia, their culture will be kept alive. It's uniquely Uighur, and if the Chinese help, it could be uniquely Chinese.

But, who wants to mess with the Chinese?

Fleece by Niece and Aunt Aerobics

Fleece by Niece and Aunt Aerobics 

My grumpy niece revolted on the breakfast table, menacing everyone with the threat of a hunger strike if her demands weren't met. 

"I'll drink my chai only if I get ice cream," tiny Shivi publicly threatened. Shivi's mom, on the table, sighed at the young one's daily dose of Gandhi theory. 

I've never had a problem stealing toys from kids, and I wanted more chai anyways. I jumped at the opportunity to be a provocateur. 

"I'll drink your chai then" I counter-threatened tiny Shivi, reaching out for her cuppa tea. She growled at me, bottoms-uped the tea, and complained to her mom. 

Yeah, like I was scared. What could her Mom do? Punish me with the task of moderating Shivi's mint-plucking effort in the garden? 

As the breakfast drama played out, my aunt in Gujarati was spouting the grueling art of cooking a vegetable called "Tindoda" to a young friend on the phone. She thought the 'younger generation' was hopeless and she felt it an obligation to pass on her junk advice. 

"Youngsta(e)rs don't know what they are doing," aunt said to uncle after the call ended, nauseated. "And they have no respect for elders," she added for good measure. 

I listened attentively, hoping to use the Tindoda argument to cook her into an overburnt veggie. 

Next morning, on the breakfast table, aunt took niece's seat as I ate Apple Jacks, Shivi's favorite. It could've been her bowl, I forget. 

My aunt poured herself chai, with 3 spoons of sugar to her tiny cup. With not much to do, It seemed like the right time to pick a fight with her. 

"Why are you threatening everybody to learn how to cook? Are you trying to spread the gospel about the only vegetable you eat?" I shouted at aunt, unloading a can of whoopass. She put that bitter Tindoda vegetable in mango juice too, she loved it that much. "Look at me, I am fit," she countered, tooting her own horn. "When you are 70, if you are like me, then talk," she said, getting ready for battle. "Yeah, your jumping jack is one more thing you brag about," I responded, adding fuel to the fire. "I am an aerobics champion. I challenge you to a workout," Aunty Aerobics said, crunching her teeth and pointing a finger at me. Add terrible dubbing, and this could be a bad kung fu movie. She naturally thought I was a bum who could walk only 15 baby steps. Dumbfounded, I asked her to elaborate. "Compete in aerobics?" I asked. "See who lasts longer. I can outwork my instructor," she said, enjoying the chai with an annoying sip that sounded like a drilling machine. "Then why send me to the car to pick up 20 bags of groceries yesterday?" I asked her. "All you youngstars need workout," she said, her energy level and voice rising as if she was in the middle of a commercial selling fitness gear. "I spent 3 to 4 hours shopping and saved $50 to $60. You should also learn how to save money," she added, continuing her drill of advising the next generation. So I was a fat ass, couldn't save money, and was an expert at reheating pizza. What allegation next? My small niece came out of nowhere, piggybacking aunt's relentless attack and sensing victory over the chai incident. "Want some ice cream, mama?" she asked me in cute baby code. Sure niece, sure. Don't try to be too smart. Before Aunty Aerobics called me a dumb-bell, I quit. "OK Shivi, lets go pick mint from the garden," I told niece, a punishment I imposed on myself after losing to Aunty Aerobics. The self-punishment wafted me back to the days of being a 4-year old, when I regularly disciplined myself, without parental involvement, over mistakes. I once locked myself up in a closet after misbehaving. It took hours for Mom -- who was aware of my peculiar habit -- to track me down as I chose a new closet everytime.

The *real* pope of hip hope

Being a 70s and 80s kid in Boston was fun -- on Sunday mornings, we'd listen to crummy Top 40 songs, lying on a carpet for hours without bathroom breaks.

After moving to India at a ripe young age, the lack of English music drove us to desperation -- we even appreciated the miserable "Big in Japan" and the pithy "You're the inspiration" (Peter Cetera.)

Inspiration elder bro needed -- perhaps fed up of dad's terrible Hindi music vocals, the dude set Bombay on fire -- he bought English tapes from US visits, his friends, studios, anywhere.

Yep, he had his bad moments -- like the Cetera tape, but he made up with the "Club Nouveau" (yes?) tape, and the tape with "St. Elmo's fire" single.

The Falco tape Mom hated. "Aa Falco-Valco falanu diknoo chhe," she shouted Gujju style (Falco-Valco is the most gargantuanistic piece of trash I've ever heard) and "Pope music band karo," (shut down the gerbil crap pope music, it's dhokla khichdi time). Songs like "Vienna Calling," "Rock Me Amadeus," "Jeannie" and "Urban Tropical" hardwired themselves into my memory.

Falco apparently is the father of rap music -- his smash "Rock Me Amadeus" was the first rap song to become a big hit. After listening to the song closely, that argument may have merit. Move aside, Run DMC.

This blast from the past came after spotting Falco's greatest-hits record scouring the racks of Amoeba, a record store a few blocks from home in San Francisco. Picking it up was a no-brainer.

And elder bro? He's rapping freestyle like ragamuffin rastamans.

Buddy buddy with the Russians

Rediff has interesting coverage about India's still wheeling and dealing with Russia. That smells not so good.. is India cooperating the wrong country?

Add some countries to the mish-mash -- Pakistan, China, US -- that should explain why India is still Russia-friendly, just like the old days.

Historically India and Russia have been great buddies, with Russia helping India more in just about every way. India's so-called democracy engaged bits of Marxist ideology. Though I'm not well-versed with the Indo-Russia past, one thing everyone seems to know is how past Indian PM Lal Bahadur Shastri died on Russian soil in Tashkent, Uzbekistan

Today, the India-Russo relationship focuses on space exploration, science (read: nuclear tech) armor and oil.

Ripping a few, I find: India wants a Deep Sea Rescue Vehicle. What is disturbing is Russia's weak deep sea rescue portfolio -- it had to enlist help of the West to rescue people from its own subs.

India also wants oil -- the truth is, India doesn't border a single country under Russian influence. Between India and Tajikistan lies PoK and Afghanistan's Badakhshan province, so the only route would be through Kashmir, where the border dispute between India, China and Pak is going on. Tajikistan is under Russian influence, and the Indian Air Force is sharing an airbase over there.

Russia has invested in oil in India, and India has reciprocated, but in the end its the supply that matters, which Russia has, and India doesn't. Russia has helped India develop it's oil, which keeps India floating in that sector, but supply has been minimal. India has ownership in some Russian gas fields in the Sakhalin province, and India is investing more to ensure they ramp up future supplies.

Both countries are looking at Central Asia to expand their oil relationship, but with Central Asians freeing themselves up from the Russian influence, it may push Russia further and further away from India.

And of course, both are looking to deal with terrorism (aka militancy) with Russia-Chechnya, and India-Kashmir. My $0.02 -- India doesn't want Russia's help in dealing with Kashmir terrorism. They may be executing well in Chechnya, but in Afghanistan, they just didn't know how to deal with the terrain, and there will be many miscommunications with the Indian forces. It'll lead to more confusion. But Russia could sure use India's help.

The Indian PM's visit to Russia doesn't hurt, it builds a relationship. Let India build a true economic relationship in this case, but not a political one. India already has many problems to deal with. MTV may have been one of the reasons India drove away from Russia!

The BLT monster

Karen held the soft bread like a delicate flower as she caressed it with mayonnaise. Her spatula passionately crisped three slices of bacon. The dew of freshly cut lettuce glistened in her eyes.

All I asked for was a BLT, not a gourmet sandwich.

I sat there dumbfounded, looking at her apply unbreakable intensity to her artwork. I calculated 15 minutes to receive a finished BLT. Karen drove my patience nuts; the train was leaving in five minutes.

Karen spread mayo on the golden bread with a smile, slowly and steading, ensuring each square inch was covered. She was a a relief from the stoic Pepito's ladies who made burritos as if it were a personal vendetta.

Six minutes into the BLT orgy, my thoughts ran amok. What if Karen were my boss -- she'd could perfect me in the art of making a BLT. The thought was sweet for 5 seconds, then came sweat.

"I need the BLT quickly," I alarmingly told Karen.

"Pepsi?" she replied, "75 cents."

Her hands paused making the BLT. No!

"Quickly," I said. Her eyes twitched, she seemed a bit flustered.

"Hurry?" she asked, with her hands twirling like train wheels.

"Yes!" I shouted, in joy. She finally understood me.

Suddenly, she turned into a bad ass, like the burrito women. Her smile disappeared, the eyes narrowed, and the bread crumbs and lettuce dropping didn't matter anymore.

She connected the two bread slices, amused by the crunching sound of crushed bacon.

Shazaam, there was the BLT monster.

Checks, lies and apes

The lovely PR women are fun to drink with – they're smart, sassy and beautiful. I'm meeting someone on Thursday, not expecting much as she seems a bit prudish.

I'd be curious to meet a lady from Lincoln Group, a PR firm in the news recently for trying to feed Pentagon's propaganda stories into Iraqi newspapers.

They call it an attempt to promote "truthful reporting," to convince Iraqis about the truth. They are essentially trying to sell the U.S. presence to Iraqis.

Pentagon threw US$5 million at them to execute this project, so Lincoln better deliver the goods. The government is the single biggest spender in the U.S. economy, so making Pentagon happy will get them more projects.

And Lincoln is seeking relevant project personnel – check out this opening. They seek a “Project Director” to manage information and communications targeted at foreign audiences in support of “Special Operations Command (SOCOM).” The person is required to have “Current Secret Clearance.” A top secret job, no doubt, but $80k to $120k, the pay ain't enough. I'd rather be a tree in 15 Hollywood films each year.

But clearly, with this propaganda/PR person hiring, the Pentagon is taking a complete knock at some non-profit efforts.

PR firms crushing non-profits

After the wars ended, training Iraqi and Afghani journalists to write news was the Institute for War and Peace Reporting (IWPR), a non-profit publication I write for about Central Asia. They trained writers on writing for international audiences, structuring stories, research and interviewing to fish out information.

To train people denied freedom of speech to write analytical, yet succinct, news stories is a challenge, from what I've heard. News writing is very industrial compared to creative writing.

IWPR is fearless in unveiling the truth, a trait they pass along while training. The Uzbek govt. especially fears IWPR, and in the past shut down their offices and asked them to suspend operations.

Conflicting these non-profit efforts is the whole PR stunt being carried out by Pentagon and CIA. But it's all part of the propaganda war, trying to sell the war to people.

Bimbos, bullets and PR

Wars don't just star PR firms like Lincoln Group, they also have leaflet bombs, drones, alcohol and actresses. The Chechen rebels referred to Russians as the "Vodka Army" -- I've warned people not to mess with the Russians and their vodka. The Chechens did, and they are paying the price. They are getting whacked in the battle.

Back to the PR firms, in 1991, a distraught 15-year old Kuwaiti girl told the US House of Reps about witnessing Iraqi soldiers killing babies out of hundreds of incubators.

The testimony was phony, engineered by the George Bush Sr. administration to sell the Iraqi war to people. They paid PR firm Hill & Knowlton between $12 million to $20 million to hire an actress to give this testimony. And it was executed brilliantly.

The girl who wailed the false testimony turned out to be daughter of Kuwaiti Ambassador to the U.S.

A great actress, and a great world changer. If I ever spot her protesting against war, I swear, I'll burn her ass off. If she's cute... well....

Anti-Russian mafia

A few days ago, Poland declassified 1979 documents detailing Soviet Russia's plan to nuke them in case a nuclear war broke out. Red mushrooms were dotted on Poland's map, signifying places as Russia's nuclear targets.

If the 1979 plans came true, Russia would have nuked Poland first, its first target, followed by other European nations.

Poland's always been a battlefield anyways -- it saw plenty of action after the Crimean War (1853-1856), had a war with Russia after WWI, and was Germany's first conquest in WWII.

The tenacious Polish-Rooskie relationship could worsen with the document release, an analyst estimated. It's like India and Pakistan working hard to develop a huge relationship, only to bring up the three Indo-Pak wars again.

Poland itself has many bones to pick with Russia. Historically, Poland perhaps has nothing against Russia, but it is weary and knows it is vulnerable to the giant.

So they are joining every alliance, and every possible thing to defend itself against the Russians.

And they want to join a new gang of anti-Russians called the Democratic Choice Community (DCC).

DCC is nothing other than a bunch of old CIS (Commonwealth of Independent States) nations, basically under a new name, with a few anti-Russian countries thrown in.

The gang is meeting up starting today in Kiev, Ukraine's capital, to announce the alliance and its focus. Their stated focus is to develop trade and to foster economic, social and political cooperaton.

An unstated focus will be to veer away from Russia and to bend toward the West.

After all, these countries were historically exploited by Russia.

That becomes especially visible if you notice the list of member nations -- either they had recent revolutions supported by Western democracies (Ukraine, Georgia) or have been anti-Russia since the Soviet fall (Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia, aka Baltic states). Others include Macedonia, Romania, Bulgaria etc.

Naturally, Russia pulled some strings to keep some pro-Commie countries, like Belarus, from attending the summit or joining the alliance. A notable exception is Azerbaijan, which is playing neutral with Russia and the U.S.

Vlad Putin was invited, but he perhaps decided he wasn't feeling well. Cough, cough.

If DCC develops as promised, Ukraine will especially benefit from it -- DCC will be another tool to fast-track its EU membership. Ukraine received praise today from EU members and WTO for delivering on economic development promises, allegedly messed up by the pro-Communist ex-president Leonid Kuchma.

Ukraine already got rid of its pro-communist government, a prerequisite to join the EU, when Viktor Yushchenko was elected president. And now it's ridding itself of the economic obstacles and bettering itself from what the world considered an unreliable, and strongly stated, "scumbag" nation.

DCC will also connect Ukraine and Georgia to the Baltic states, which are also EU and NATO members. Belarus may geographically intercept them, but Poland can be used as a trade route as it connects Ukraine to the Baltic states. So Poland stands to gain if DCC initiates trade talks between the disconnected nations.

For NATO and the EU member nations, this gives them a minor leg-up in the regional power struggle with Russia.

Don't get me wrong, Russia's super strong and wields plenty of influence in its home region. NATO and EU are struggling to crack in there.

But the million dollar point is: If DCC grows, even pro-communist countries like Belarus will be unable to ignore it.

If it becomes a monster alliance, it will even tempt the stubborn Russians into joining.

Which means we'll get more vodka. Hooray!