Thursday, December 08, 2005

The BLT monster

Karen held the soft bread like a delicate flower as she caressed it with mayonnaise. Her spatula passionately crisped three slices of bacon. The dew of freshly cut lettuce glistened in her eyes.

All I asked for was a BLT, not a gourmet sandwich.

I sat there dumbfounded, looking at her apply unbreakable intensity to her artwork. I calculated 15 minutes to receive a finished BLT. Karen drove my patience nuts; the train was leaving in five minutes.

Karen spread mayo on the golden bread with a smile, slowly and steading, ensuring each square inch was covered. She was a a relief from the stoic Pepito's ladies who made burritos as if it were a personal vendetta.

Six minutes into the BLT orgy, my thoughts ran amok. What if Karen were my boss -- she'd could perfect me in the art of making a BLT. The thought was sweet for 5 seconds, then came sweat.

"I need the BLT quickly," I alarmingly told Karen.

"Pepsi?" she replied, "75 cents."

Her hands paused making the BLT. No!

"Quickly," I said. Her eyes twitched, she seemed a bit flustered.

"Hurry?" she asked, with her hands twirling like train wheels.

"Yes!" I shouted, in joy. She finally understood me.

Suddenly, she turned into a bad ass, like the burrito women. Her smile disappeared, the eyes narrowed, and the bread crumbs and lettuce dropping didn't matter anymore.

She connected the two bread slices, amused by the crunching sound of crushed bacon.

Shazaam, there was the BLT monster.


Anonymous downunder said...

Ohhh I love!

10:30 PM  
Blogger Khakra said...

allie-o, we are diet twins, aren't we?

3:39 PM  
Anonymous downunder said...

Diet twins? hehe I went to a Chinese place for a chrissy party lastnight. 10 Course meal. They served up a duck, HEAD AND ALL. It still had a BEAK for cripes sake and a pair of boiled eyes. To make matters worse, the poor duck still had guts inside, they carved it up right there on the table! That was followed by lamb, beef, chicken, lobster etc etc. Great meal for a vegetarian!

1:41 AM  
Blogger Khakra said...

haha allie-o..are cops in oz-land always gruesome? be considerate with the details!! this is classic you!

4:08 PM  
Blogger venus said...

this morning, I before stepping in to my office, I decided to satisfy my salty craving, just milk+cereal+fruits were not enough for my today's morning fast breaking! and I went to this place where they offer yummy backed potatoes on side, enough for my craving, and guess what, how long did it take for that lady to just pack backed potatoes and announce my pick up number!?!? 10 mins!! I was running out of patience too today, and I finally asked if it's gonna take lany longer..

7:02 AM  
Blogger Khakra said...

you just always make the wrong moves, don't ya venus? hope the lady got your name right! And stuff like this always happens when you just don't want them to happen.. it's most annoying!

9:02 PM  

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