Khakra

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Have an earthquake, will travel

Experiencing an earthquake on entering a country must not be easy. My friend Melanie felt a tremor measuring 5.2 on the Richter Scale on entering Honduras, after hearing an ear load about soccer.

Comes with the territory, she says. Countries like Taiwan and Japan can't go a day without boogeying 21 times a day.

That's just the start of Melanie Mel's adventures. For years she's talked about doing something for the underprivileged. Her chance has come -- to do a combo-job with Accenture and CARE -- which is why she was in Honduras.

She's circling the globe over 3-4 months to combat poverty and empower women. Read her blog (workingwithcare.blogspot.com) to keep up with her adventures.

A soccer frenzy has gripped Honduras as the World Cup approaches, she observes. (For the record, my team to win it all is The Netherlands.)

Mel's a wild child -- mellow at first glance, but tempo ratcheting up at any time called party time -- but this effort is where her heart really is.

To ensure she's in touch with the wild side, I've asked her to hit Latin bars and challenge tequila swigging amigos to a pool match occassionally.

Many-a-women friend have hung up their 'wild child' boots after meeting their respective beaux. I'm not going to lose any more friends to that!!

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Deepa Mehta's Water @ San Fran Film Fest

For those in the Bay Area, there's a screening of Deepa Mehta's Water on March 19 @ Castro Theater at 6:00PM (Sunday).

It's part of the SFIAAFF (San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival, whoosh!). Tickets still seem to be there, grab them before they run out.

The movie is the final of the brilliant Fire, Earth and Water trilogy. Unconfirmed reports say Mehta might be there herself to answer questions.

Some other movies I might catch @ the festival: Parineeta, Sobhraj, View from a Grain of Sand and Gaijin 2. Any recommendations appreciated!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Grumpy martial artists and Kha-Kra-Do

I'm grumpy in the mornings. Erin avoids me, and the chatty barista at my neighborhood coffee shop tries to cheer me up by unloading the deliciously invective cultural insult: "I love Indian Chai Tea."

The day usually kickstarts at work after reading Sepia Mutiny and Bullshido, a martial arts bulls*** monitor. Establish a "McDojo," (or martial arts McSchool), overcharge students and dish out black belts to anyone who can kick. You'll get on Bullshido too.

There's "Grand Celestial Do," which offers martial arts defense against 'aliens' (say, folks like Tom Cruise?). There's also desi bullshido -- a Bombay school offers an online "Ph.D in Martial Science." Write some BS, pay some Rs. 15,000, and tada, you're a Ph.D. in Martial Arts. Napolen Dynamite's Rex-Kwon-Do is Bull-Shi-Do too.

A loony ninja named "Ashida Kim" offers $10,000 to beat him in a no-holds-barred fight. He first wants a $25,000 collateral and a 1st class ticket. There's a reason he keeps himself masked.

Slightly more authentic was "Count Dante," who claimed to be of Spanish royalty, perhaps ashamed of being from Kentucky. He had nothing better to do than challenge Muhammad Ali by "personally going to his house in Chicago's south side," and challenging the world wrestling and judo champions to bouts.

During the "Dojo Wars"of the 60s/70s, Starsky & Hutch-types whacked the pulp out of each other, as if to say "you stole my monkey windpipe flip move!" Somewhat like Bruce Lee meets Sesame Street.

But genuine martial artists *still* threaten to knock the wind out of each other.

Steaming up heat is an interesting war between WTF and ITF, two substyles of Tae Kwon Do (or TKD), a fine Korean kick-based martial art. Rival practitioners claim their styles are better in the ring. They talk, never put their mouth where the money is.

This conflict is political bullshido, between egotistical folks and dysfunctional mismanagement, a friend J said.

The IOC recognizes WTF as the official Olympic TKD style, not ITF. ITF says its sparring style is more practical than WTF, which focuses on the impractical Olympic Style sparring. It's a pointless fight -- both styles looked similar during observation, only the terminology differed.

The conflict could have led to TKD being removed as a 2008 Beijing Olympic sport. WTF's HQ in Korea, Kukkiwon, wants to bring WTF/ITF under one roof, but hasn't done enough, J added.

The US Olympic Committee threw mismanagement and fund misappropriation accusations at US TKD Union (USTU), which selects the Olympic Taekwondokas. Since then, USTU dismantled and USOC took the task of restructuring it in its own hands.

In the WTF/ITF bullshido, other TKD styles like ATA and ITA benefitted by developing their systems and going about their own business. All of TKD generally originated from one person, though technical and theoretical differences broke it up as time went along.

Not having done TKD, I don't know any better than what my friend says. But like in Karate, only some bad apples give TKD a bad rep. Violence defeats the purpose of learning martial arts, so why those odd TKD/Karate crazies can't control themselves is beyond me. They have to stop watching the triple runs of Bruce Lee flicks.

Despite Karate, I can't control my grumpiness, especially in the mornings. My style of preference is Kha-Kra-Do, a martial art that doesn't preach patience. Nor does it teach people how to read The Onion at 7:00 in the morning.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

A roast to V-Day

Compared to your average American, being a cheap stingy SOB on V-Day this year rekindled my pride about everything Gujju.

(For readers unfamiliar: Gujjus are (Asian) Indian folks known to leave dirty sheets in US motels to save money. For women unfamiliar: V-Day is nothing but psychobabble.)

So she called @ 7:15AM Pacific on Feb 14, accusing me of purposely avoiding her call last night (9PM PT/12AM ET, V-Day already started for her).

"I will never talk to you again and I will ogle at other guys from now on," she shouted before slamming the phone. Oh well, whatever makes her happy.

I sighed at my misfortune. Perhaps work would be the place to snap away from the mindfunk.

Riding the bus, I saw two kids from the Bad Boy Bail Bonds slug it out outside a taco stand at 9AM. More sigh. I finally saw a smile -- from a lady (let's call her Toto) who entered the bus on that street. She noticed an acquaintance sitting behind me (let's call her Lulu).

"Hi, it's been a long time" Toto told Lulu. "How are you?"

"I'm great. My 1-year old granddaughter called me and said 'Happy Valentine's Day, Nana'." Lulu said.

Alrighty, a full-talking 1-year old robot kid. What would follow?

"Oh that's so nice. All of my kids wished me yesterday night. I am so proud of them," Toto said. "They are in college now. Did any of your kids end up in college?" Toto asked Lulu, with a hint of bitchiness. Lulu couldn't take it.

"Yeah, my first daughter went to college in Georgia and she's studying XX YY there. My son is still messed up but he's now living on his own. I don't want them in my home," Lulu answered humbly, not yet accepting defeat. "Are your college kids still living with you?" Lulu testily asked Toto.

"The kids are still with me. But hopefully they will earn enough to live on their own once they finish university," Toto replied. "There's no problem having them at home," she lashed out at Lulu, as if teaching her a life lesson.

It went on and the heat flowed, but no fist fight broke out. This amazing fight was fought between civil adults behaving like long lost friends. How women get bitchy and control their temper at the same time just beats me.

At work, the drama was grammatic, not dramatic. I didn't want the stupid gimmicky day to read like a proper noun in *my* stories, so I lowercased the "D" in "Day." I got busted by my editor, who gave me the whole etymology of how Valentine's Day came from the great St. Valentine.

Ok, so work wasn't the place either. Home is where I found the answer -- Valentine's Day is actually about Gujjus being proud of their motherloadin' love for money.

I was stunned by a CNN report that said US spends $14 billion on Valentine's Day gifts. Showing some Gujju swagger, I splurged on two books, Malgudi Days ($11) and finally, Chasing the Monk's Shadow by Mishi Saran ($18).

Right then, I felt a surge of pride about being a Gujju, born hardwired with money-hoarding skills. As the clock passed 12:00AM to reach Feb. 15, thankfully, I recovered from the "it's either the motel business or bust" hangover.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

The uncensored Superbowl

Raucous crowds, bar fights and Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction," made the Superbowl two years ago the most memorable. Went with buddy LL, and hooked up with two women, CC and DD, in SF's Marina Sports Bar.

So boring was the first half of New England Patriots vs Carolina Panthers, CC and I ended up bar-spotting for most of it, analyzing people's appearances. CC did a makeover of a punk gal a few tables away and decided she was the wife I was looking for.

Even trash talking didn't draw LL's passion. She stood grim next to us, cussing at guys who admired her long leather boots. DD didn't care much about football, she was messing around with any guy in her path.

Finally, a touchdown for NE came toward the end of halftime, and more growls than cheers came from bar crowd. I pumped my fist, so happy like I'd seen clam chowder after years.

That's when the fun started. The crowd went wild and I got a middle finger from a Carolina fan when the team returned a touchdown in no time, tying the score. The ruckus in the bar went a notch up when NE struck back with a touchdown a few seconds later, leading it 14-7.

Everyone stood up, slogans for each team getting louder and louder. With a few seconds left to half-time, Carolina struck back with a field goal to close the half at 14-10. The game turned into an exciting shoot-out.

I looked at CC and sat down discouraged, like other NE fans, with hopes of an easy NE victory.

Took a swig of Sam Adam's and shouted "Carolina sucks."

"You need halftime too," CC said. She just saved me from a bar fight with any random Carolina fan.

Time passed, and then DD asked "Why are Superbowl champs called World Champions? Don't other countries play?" Good question.

"Only people in the U.S. love to watch violent sports like the WW...." Den, popped her eyes looking at the TV, stopped me in the tracks.

"Did you see that?" she asked, her eyes stunned, still looking at the TV. The crowd gasped in delight.

I missed Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction." Darn. Just missed the most publicized blooper in Superbowl history. They didn't even show replays of it.

The commentators were hesitant to use the word "boobs" or "breasts," saying someone's "bodily parts" were exposed. I didn't understand what may have happened that was so outrageous -- perhaps some background dancer's pants fell off?

The action-packed halftime was followed with a dull 3rd quarter. LLgot back into her anguish, CC's admiration for the punk gal as my wife vanished. She took upon making over a "bad-ass gal" who'd be my great "bad-ass wife."

"Not a life with her," I told CC, "please give me back the punk gal."

One portion of the crowd started shouting when one TV broke down. That just started the wildest 4th quarter I've ever seen. New England scored a touchdown to take a 21-10 lead, Carolina struck back twice to lead 22-21. My worries started. If NE lost, I'd face a tough life.

I envisioned ESPN analysts grinning as they said "NE lost, haa haa, they sucked." Thankfully, Tom Brady threw a touchdown to gain the lead back, 29-22, which was more relief than something to be thrilled about.

By now barfolk knew I was the New England heckler, so I got grunts, fingers and filthy looks when Carolina tied the score at 29-29 with just seconds left. Luckily the idiot Carolina kicker kicked the ball out of bounds, giving enough for New England to score a field goal as time expired. NE won the Superbowl, what relief.

No fist fights followed. NE fans, bad sports some are, shouted stuff like "Carolina should recruit Janet Jackson to be a winner," which got no response. San Francisco isn't much a sports city like Boston. The game was over, life goes on. But thank goodness, NE won a phenomenal game that see-sawed back and forth.

We'd been in the bar for 7-1/2 hours. Before the Superbowl, LL and DD never met, but two years down the line, they are great friends. CC is somewhere in the Bay Area, she lost touch after meeting her dream guy. We all may have dispersed, but four of us will never forget that day.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Iran, Iran whatcha gonna do

Iran's rediscovered nuke ambitions has the U.S. thinking about military action. No doubt, the U.S. has a war plan against Iran ready, but it considers North Korea a better target at the moment.

Iran president's chatter could have been considered empty threats like the ones issued by Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez occassionally. But Iranian president's hint of developing nukes with its enriched uranium nukes and halting IAEA access to nuclear sites shook up the world.

Working its diplomatic channels, the U.S. today supported an IAEA vote to report Iran's uranium enrichment to the UN Security Council. Russia, China, and India too supported reporting Iran's violation of the nuclear non-proliferation treaty (NPT) to the UN.

Syria, Venezuela and Cuba voted against reporting Iran to the UN -- they perhaps thought brave Iran was toying with the idea of challenging America. Five abstained.

Iran could face sanctions if the UN finds the allegations legit. U.S. wants an immediate vote, but Russia and China have asked for more time, so the vote might happen in March.

With a UN vote delay, Russia hopes to complete a deal that moves Iran's nuclear enrichment to its soil. Doing that would convince the world Iran has no nuke ambitions, Russia says. The deal was offered a while ago

Russia says it wants Iranians to get nuclear energy while keeping the world free of nukes. What bulls***. In Iran, Russia gets a good ally to counter growing U.S. influence in the Middle East, which boasts as allies Israel, Iraq and Afghanistan (assuming the US gains grounds in the latter two countries over time.)

Unless the crazy Iranian president keeps his gob shut, gear up for an upcoming UN vote that imposes economic sanctions on Iran.

I don't call every leader extremist -- but Iran president's threatening comments qualify him as one. His suggestions to wipe out Israel and to hold a conference to determine whether the Holocaust really happened are just plain ridiculous.

The sanction will directly hit the local populace. Iran's got oil, so it has some money, but not as much as Saudi Arabia or India to be self-supportive. Iran's just isolating itself from the world and will pay a price for that.

I'm not a big Bush fan either, but he's making the right move here by putting pressure on Iran. So is Putin, whose antics I am a big fan of. Like how he stole the Superbowl ring from New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft a few years ago. The guy is a nutcase.

Cutting the political process from the equation -- do we, as individuals, need to worry about it? As an ordinary citizen, every nuke worries me. But Europe and U.S. are united on this, putting pressure on the extremist Iranian leader to stop him from developing a nuke.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Sweet revenge

My buddy M usually makes it known loud and clear when she's upset. During a Thai dinner yesterday I may have pissed her off, though never got a clue about it.

So as an act of gratitude (yeah right!), she sent me this hilarious clip, worth checking out:
http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/play_uk.php?id=667660
[Content Rated: R, incl. offensive text.]

It's happened between us before. This fiery Marwari lady has had me in splits over sharing taxi costs, getting a lift in a police car, going dutch on dinner bills (The amount we go out, I can't afford buy her dinner everytime. We're both broke.) And much, much more.

We got into an animated Superbowl spat on the dinner table and she may have taken the trash talk to heart. Never got a hint from her or R opposite me, who reads M's mind pretty well. It's hard to identify when she'd like to be treated like a lady, or like the buddy who loves to watch football.

But hey, the core is we get along so well, the rest doesn't matter. Shit (or pee, if M prefers) happens, just deal with it.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Steal $1, get jailed for 7 years

If you thought Guantanamo Bay is a haven for prisoner abuse, think again. Compared to Mongolia, Gitmo is Chuck-E-Cheese. In Mong-land even lawyers assisting criminals are banged up with crowbars. Crime doesn't pay there, it tortures, big time.

(What follows is a story I wrote in mid-2005. It lost its newsworthiness after lagging in the editor's queue for a few days, so it was repackaged as an analysis. All those colorful, but tragic cases, in the middle of the story were edited out, so the reprint is a colorful pre-edited version. Courtesy: Open Society Institute.)

Scrutiny of Mongolian prisons reveal continued abuses

Prisoners and detainees in Mongolia are continuously abused and denied basic legal rights by Mongolian authorities despite some progress, according to a UN official who visited the landlocked country in early June to investigate the treatment of prisoners and detainees, which attracts constant criticism from human rights groups.

Amnesty International recently criticized Mongolian prison authorities for harsh treatment of prisoners and detainees, cruel and inhuman condition of cells and poor sanitary conditions. Poor medical conditions was resulting in the spread of diseases amongst prisoners, Amnesty noted in a report issued in May 2005.

Legislative reforms and an office established to legally combat such abuses has partly humanized the treatment of prisoners and detainees, though torture persists in police stations and pre-trial detention centers, observed Manfred Nowak, Special Rapporteur for the U.N. Commission on Human Rights.

Over a four day fact-finding mission to prisons and detention centers, Nowak recommended that the Mongolian government investigate such allegations and prosecute culprits in line with the Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment put into force by the UN in June 1987.

However, prosecuting such individuals could be difficult as there is no definition of torture in Mongolian domestic law, said Safir Syed, a UN spokesman.

THE VICTIMS

Death row prisoners are especially badly treated, Nowak noted. The atrocious conditions they live in and a lack of notification to their families is tantamount to cruelty, he said. “Families are just notified when a person is sentenced to death, but not date of execution, nor do they receive body or told where it's buried,” Syed said.

Secrecy surrounding the application of the death penalty attracted concern as well, Nowak said, adding that official data about it was absent during his investigation. There isn’t any “official data of numbers [of people] sentenced to death, numbers on death row or numbers executed,” Syed said.

Death penalty data couldn’t be traced by Amnesty International either, which wrote that the number of prisoners on death row increased in 2004, attributed to media reports.

Authorities of two detention centers refused to give Nowak access to death row prisoners, Syed said.

Nowak didn’t receive cooperation from authorities at the Zuunmod Pre-trial Detention Center in Zuunmod, capital of Tuv province, and the Gants Hudag Pre-trial Detention Centre in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia's capital. Otherwise Nowak received full cooperation, he said.

Gants Hudag prison guards allegedly tortured a detainee, Munkhbayar, who died on June 3 after his release, according to Liberty Center, a human rights organization in Mongolia. Arrested on May 20, Munkhbayar was “very sick and ... throwing up blood” after his release 72 hours later, according to Liberty Center.

Some prisoners are currently serving a 30-year term in isolation, which is inhuman, said Nowak. Nowak otherwise observed an "ordinary" prison regime in line with international standards – standards lined out in the UN Minimum Standards for Treatment of Prisoners, according to Syed.

Human rights organizations seem to disagree.

TORTURE CASES

Prisoners live in overcrowded cells with bad sanitary facilities and receive poor medical attention. Through 2004, close to 300 people were held in an Ulaanbaatar City Police Department holding cell that could accommodate only 120, wrote Amnesty International in its report. It also noted that tuberculosis was on the increase among prisoners, although it was denied by the Mongolian government.

Broken teeth, arthritis and a kidney disease were the fate of Erdene-Ochir, a herdsman from Zavkhan province who was mistakenly imprisoned for seven years as a murder suspect.

Though he was pronounced innocent by the Supreme Court in 2002, he was denied any poor health compensation. Erdene was later compensated Tugrik 2 million (US$1,785 as of June 19) by Amnesty International’s Sweden office. The police submitted Erdene’s case to the primary court six times in seven years, out of which he was sentenced to death three times, according to a United Nations Development Programme report published in 2003. Bureaucracy runs uncontrolled in prisons, UNDP pointed out in its report.

After a controversial newspaper interview in 2005, an imprisoned and critically sick Mongolian lawyer was threatened by prison officials to be moved to a “more crowded cell where he would face worse conditions,”according to the Amnesty International.

Lodoisambuu Sanjaasuren’s heart condition has worsened as prison authorities have provided just basic medication, not special medical treatment, wrote Amnesty International in a recent alert. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail in Nov. 2004 after being convicted of selling state secrets.

Lodoisambuu assisted murder suspect Enkhbat Damiran publicize his innocence in the 1998 murder of Zorig Sanjasuuren, a prominent Mongolian politician. Following that, both were arrested and convicted of selling state secrets.

Mongolian intelligence officials “kidnapped” Enkhbat from France in 2003, where he was allegedly drugged, kicked, pulled in his hair, and beaten by electric batons. After being “illegally” transported to Mongolia, intelligence officers “shone bright lights in his eyes and forced him to listen to the cocking and firing of a handgun,” to get him to admit to the murder, according to Amnesty International. He fell sick after being sent to Abdarant prison, near Ulaanbaatar, which has bad medical facilities, and was denied access to a lawyer and better medical facilities. Enkhbat was sentenced to 3 years in jail in Nov. 2004.

WHAT NOW?

A public inquiry being carried out by Mongolia’s National Human Rights Commission to eradicate such abuses was praised by Nowak, and he recommended that the commission make visits to detention centers to prevent future torture.

A National Human Rights Action Plan was recommended to Mongolia by the UN Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights in Oct. 2003, which was adopted by the country in Dec. 2003.

The plan called for an improvement in prison or detention centers facilities “to meet human rights standards.” It also called for a public monitoring system of prisoners or detainees whose rights were violated to “elevate the level of their protection.” The plan also asked prisons to be opened up for public scrutiny.

During the short visit Nowak also met with Mongolian President Natsagiin Bagabandi, who on June 24 will be replaced by Nambariin Enkhbayar, winner of the presidential election held on May 22.

Nowak, appointed as a UN Special Rapporteur in Nov. 2004, will present his report to a UN Commission of Human Rights session in 2006.