Wednesday, February 08, 2006

The uncensored Superbowl

Raucous crowds, bar fights and Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction," made the Superbowl two years ago the most memorable. Went with buddy LL, and hooked up with two women, CC and DD, in SF's Marina Sports Bar.

So boring was the first half of New England Patriots vs Carolina Panthers, CC and I ended up bar-spotting for most of it, analyzing people's appearances. CC did a makeover of a punk gal a few tables away and decided she was the wife I was looking for.

Even trash talking didn't draw LL's passion. She stood grim next to us, cussing at guys who admired her long leather boots. DD didn't care much about football, she was messing around with any guy in her path.

Finally, a touchdown for NE came toward the end of halftime, and more growls than cheers came from bar crowd. I pumped my fist, so happy like I'd seen clam chowder after years.

That's when the fun started. The crowd went wild and I got a middle finger from a Carolina fan when the team returned a touchdown in no time, tying the score. The ruckus in the bar went a notch up when NE struck back with a touchdown a few seconds later, leading it 14-7.

Everyone stood up, slogans for each team getting louder and louder. With a few seconds left to half-time, Carolina struck back with a field goal to close the half at 14-10. The game turned into an exciting shoot-out.

I looked at CC and sat down discouraged, like other NE fans, with hopes of an easy NE victory.

Took a swig of Sam Adam's and shouted "Carolina sucks."

"You need halftime too," CC said. She just saved me from a bar fight with any random Carolina fan.

Time passed, and then DD asked "Why are Superbowl champs called World Champions? Don't other countries play?" Good question.

"Only people in the U.S. love to watch violent sports like the WW...." Den, popped her eyes looking at the TV, stopped me in the tracks.

"Did you see that?" she asked, her eyes stunned, still looking at the TV. The crowd gasped in delight.

I missed Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction." Darn. Just missed the most publicized blooper in Superbowl history. They didn't even show replays of it.

The commentators were hesitant to use the word "boobs" or "breasts," saying someone's "bodily parts" were exposed. I didn't understand what may have happened that was so outrageous -- perhaps some background dancer's pants fell off?

The action-packed halftime was followed with a dull 3rd quarter. LLgot back into her anguish, CC's admiration for the punk gal as my wife vanished. She took upon making over a "bad-ass gal" who'd be my great "bad-ass wife."

"Not a life with her," I told CC, "please give me back the punk gal."

One portion of the crowd started shouting when one TV broke down. That just started the wildest 4th quarter I've ever seen. New England scored a touchdown to take a 21-10 lead, Carolina struck back twice to lead 22-21. My worries started. If NE lost, I'd face a tough life.

I envisioned ESPN analysts grinning as they said "NE lost, haa haa, they sucked." Thankfully, Tom Brady threw a touchdown to gain the lead back, 29-22, which was more relief than something to be thrilled about.

By now barfolk knew I was the New England heckler, so I got grunts, fingers and filthy looks when Carolina tied the score at 29-29 with just seconds left. Luckily the idiot Carolina kicker kicked the ball out of bounds, giving enough for New England to score a field goal as time expired. NE won the Superbowl, what relief.

No fist fights followed. NE fans, bad sports some are, shouted stuff like "Carolina should recruit Janet Jackson to be a winner," which got no response. San Francisco isn't much a sports city like Boston. The game was over, life goes on. But thank goodness, NE won a phenomenal game that see-sawed back and forth.

We'd been in the bar for 7-1/2 hours. Before the Superbowl, LL and DD never met, but two years down the line, they are great friends. CC is somewhere in the Bay Area, she lost touch after meeting her dream guy. We all may have dispersed, but four of us will never forget that day.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

janet jackson is such a hoe!!! gosh

12:34 PM  

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