Most useless gadgets on this planet

Gizmos I want for the holiday season:

UV toothbrush sterilizer (sis-in-law, a dentist, declines comment)

Piggybank destroyer (any donations appreciated)

Soap genie with musical chime (featuring "drip-free technology")

The dorky robot razor holder (it'll even hold gillette's 7-blade razor, coming out in 20 years)

The arm wrestling robot (you can defeat it with the piggybank destroyer)

An SMS kettle (Love overburnt chai)

Remote control spy plane with in-built digital camera and "bomber" function (I'm screwed if this crashes into girlfriend's deck)

And Indian food, `cause I love my India.

The media bad boys...

... apparently have their own blog now. The evil Al Jazeera believed they were a Bush target, so this seems like a protest blog. Doesn't seem like they are getting much support.

The US Army especially hated them, and tragically enough, a retired captain from the US Marines recently joined Al Jazeera as a reporter.

George always finds an Al to fight with. First Al Gore, then Al Jazeera. Next, it will be Al Franken.

Post thanksgiving thoughts

Thanks to the two who wrote about the Sabnis trash being a personal attack and unsupportive of the "blogosphere". Well, sc*** you.

First: I'm not part of any sort of blogosphere. What is a blogosphere anyways?

Second: File a case and complain to my employer, I'm not going to be a wee*ie and leave my job. It's possible I get fired before that, so perhaps no effort needed on your part..

Third: I'm still eating the T-giving leftovers, so don't disturb. Wait, it's gone -- did my roommate ...?

The fight club

Would you leave a job out of courtesy on a minor mistake?

Not me, unless I get fired.

Take Gaurav Sabnis. In one entry, he called an IIPM Institute fraudulent and how it messed around with people's lives. IIPM slammed him with a legal notice, asking him to remove the entries and to apologize to IIPM, which was naturally trying to save its face.

Happened so that he worked at IBM, and IIPM was an IBM client, so he could get screwed. Surprisingly, Sabnis left his job, because IIPM "threatened" IBM about burning IBM laptops it owned, which could get IBM bad press.

"Threaten" is a very strong word, and Sabnis doesn't substantiate its usage. IBM seemingly didn't perceive this as a "threat" as they were willing to stand by Sabnis despite his post. If they perceived this a threat, he would've been fired.

Such a trivial matter led to the man leaving his job. The plot thickens in the way Sabnis left his job.

Surprisingly, he left his job because "IBM was so kind to him." He didn't want "IBM's well-being to be compromised in any way," so he "voluntarily resigned" from his job. IBM (now Lenovo) execs asked him to reconsider his decision to resign.

That just doesn't sound truthful. There has to be something deeper.

Did he resign because he didn't have the guts to take the heat of the situation? Or did he resign before IBM fired him, though he said the company had no plans to do so?

Or he didn't want to work there, which is totally plausible, but wasn't honest about it.

If he is portraying himself as a victim and a Mr. Goody Two-Shoes, it is a bunch of crock, and an IBM U.S. senior exec agrees with me on this. Sabnis may think he did IBM a favor by leaving, the exec added, though it actually may have cost IBM. It takes time, money and effort to find a replacement.

I don't support IIPM's actions -- they are criminals, but Sabnis' actions are even more mysterious.

Maybe sacrificing a job for IBM has its benefits. It would've been great for him to take the challenge of facing IIPM with IBM, stick it out to see what he learnt. And finally, bask in the glory of victory.

But what did he get? He left a job for his blog, running away from a battle that he couldn't handle, and not believing in IBM to handle the situation. It will look bad on his resume.

Do not give up, ever. Especially if the company appreciates your work and wants to retain you. Alas, he portrayed himself as a victim of legal and corporate sleaze, which is not a bit classy.

After reading this, people might say - "oh, you had better be in such a situation before passing a comment." Sweet talk, chum. I've gone through a lot of tough situations, like reporting from a conflict zone. Everyday was a challenge, I never quit, not that I had a chance to scram. Others needed me and I knew it.

But it's possible I misunderstood this whole situation. If that's the case, welcome to the fight club.

I rejoined karate recently, and I'm itching to throw another axekick.

Twerps at work

High-level Fox News execs are apparently getting away with loads of lewd behavior, DC Media Girl points out.

Offensive remarks attributed to Fox News VP Joe Chillemi include saying that a pregnant woman had "tits" like "cannons", writes the gal.

What morons -- a sexual harassment case will blow their financials, like what may have happened to Bill O'Reilly himself.

O'Reilly faced a sexual harassment case from his show's producer, Andrea Mackris. The juicy case details include O'Reilly talking to Mackris about "explicitly, to her about phone sex, vibrators, threesomes, masturbation, the loss of his virginity, and sexual fantasies." View that case here.

It later got settled out of court.

While my personal viewpoints may differ from O'Reilly's, this could be part of a vendetta against him. I'm not supporting him, but why did Mackris wait so long to file the case?

Maybe she thought things would change, or was scared about something. Anything's possible.

But, more power to women. I'm glad Mackris got her justice. Such behavior is unacceptable.

(Disclaimer: This is not intended as a potshot to a fellow media outlet. And this is the last of my lewd entries!)

The boobie trap

While investigating San Francisco's "anti-military" attitude, Bill O'Reilly of Fox News asked this question in a poll:

"Should Americans who disagree with San Francisco's anti-military stance avoid traveling to the city?"

Results? 81 percent will not travel to the city, 19 percent will.

Right, and I won't travel to Corpus Christi because of that person with a French accent and to Omaha because of that German restaurant.

You don't avoid San Francisco just because the U.N. was born here in 1945. In fact, I challenge you to try avoiding San Francisco. It's eroticism is just hard to resist.

The ladies from Breasts Not Bombs could go topless at City Center to protest the war at any point, so book your tickets in advance. As they say, make love, not war.

It sure beats being in Philly seeing linguists decipher Sylvester Stallone's language during the making of Rocky 6.

Contraband cartoons

As a school kid in Needham, life wasn't easy -- everyday, teacher gave me a lecture on my bad handwriting, and donated free pencils to make it legible. I dreamed in the classroom -- looking outside the class window at a wooden ship in the yard, dreaming on being a pirate on that ship. Just like Daffy Duck.

But I never got to be Daffy, stayng back in school for handwriting improvement lessons. At 2:15pm, I'd get off the the school bus at home, hoping Mom would have a friend over. If she did, hooray! she's not watching General Hospital, and I can watch cartoons. If they got drunk, even better, it gave me 2 more hours of cartoons.

So desperate I was -- if mom watched GH, I'd go upstairs to try and fix our other TV in our playroom, coined the "Batcave." The piece of trash never worked; now that I think about it, I'm not even sure if it was a real TV or just a toy. But it did train me into a perfect handyman.

At home, we did everything a New England kid did -- collect baseball cards, get a penny a day as pocket money, call the kid Berry names like Strawberry and Mulberry, and watch wrestling on TV. That was the only connection we had with TV.

And of course, wondering how Mom could even watch something like GH -- that was the other TV connection.

The flashback came a few days back when I saw a lady named Melissa Reeves on the cover of San Francisco Chronicle's TV guide, a soap star of "Days of our Lives." I asked my roommate whether she saw it.

"I used to see it 20 years ago," she said, hinting a slight smile.

Would she understand the storyline of the show today?

"Oh yes, I would. Melissa Reeves has been on the show forever."

Would Mom understand GH's storyline today? I doubt it. She's now into watching wrestling. OK, just kidding, but she hasn't seen GH in a while.

But this little conversation bought back my haunted past -- of how soaps denied me of cartoons. That also happens whenever I pass Massachusetts General Hospital.

The Mongolian name game

Remembering full Mongolian names is a professional hazard, and it's a handful for Mongolia's government too.

Traditionally, they didn't have surnames, only first names. In 1997, Mongolians were asked to select a last name, so a proper population record could be maintained by the government. And what a dumb plan it turned out to be.

With only first names, records were hard to maintain. I mean, imagine India with people only named Kishan, Shankar and Phoolwati.

Chaos followed -- Mongolians were clueless -- they perhaps walked around blankly asking others what surnames they were planning to choose and which one they didn't. Chaos would definitely break out if Americans or North Indians were asked to add native villages to names, like some have in South India.

Thousands took the easy route, selecting Borjigin, after national hero Genghis Khan's clan name, among others. That created more chaos for the Mongolian government -- the last thing they wanted were thousands of similar first and last names!

But, it's come to a point where the Mongolian government would appreciate a name as annoying as Michael Bolton.

The rig wig

The current post-election drama in Azerbaijan is similar to what happened after its 2003 presidential polls --rigged elections, denials and brokered statements.

The ruling party in Azerbaijan claimed victory on Sunday, with opposition parties saying the elections were rigged. The U.S. issued a statement saying the elections were partly rigged, with Russia saying it was legit, as I said they would do.

So the big question is -- what happens from here? Perhaps nothing.

The opposition is trying to create a scenario that Ukraine saw in 2002 -- the "Orange Revolution," which saw unhappy Ukrainians ousting elitist and ex-communist leader Leonid Kuchma.

But for a revolution, you need the people to participate. Unlike the Ukrainians, the Azeris don't want it. Ukrainians were desperate for a change -- Kuchma had exploited them as much as he could, and in Viktor Yushchenko, the new leader, people saw hope.

Azeris are happy with current president Ilham Aliyev, and people don't see a leader like Yushchenko to oppose him.

The U.S., being the U.S. and the preserver of democracy, we had to issue a statement saying that Azerbaijan's elections were partly rigged. But the U.S. won't push or support a revolution, like it did in Ukraine, because its current economic relationship with Azerbaijan is just at the right level.

The happy Russians praised the elections -- they perhaps don't know what's right anyways, being the world champ in rigged elections. It went to the extent to say that all elections are rigged, and the same applies to Azerbaijan, and its legitimacy cannot be questioned.

Some poll recounts have been issued and results nullified, but with the public happy and unwilling to help the opposition, the current drama is fire without any smoke. It should last a few days and then dry out.

The Divali Divas

This may come a few days late -- to everyone -- Happy Diwali and happy new year! To celebrate it, landed up at a party thrown by the 'Divali Divas,' where the ladies had concocted a drink called "Ginger Rogers".

Mix rum with ginger ale, real ginger and mint, and pour the drink into a glass using a strainer -- that ensures mint leaves don't fall into the glass.

Voila, you have a drink as knock-out as that Diva actress Ginger Rogers.

R, if I'm missing something, call. If you try this drink and don't like it, trash talk.

For some reason, I'm better at remembering drink concoctions than cooking recipes, don't know why.

And the elections in Azerbaijan are over, with Aliyev's party claiming victory. Results were as expected -- now I can rest after what has been a stressful weekend. We perhaps won't hear about Azerbajian for the next few years other than some occassional scuffles between the Armenians and the Azeris in Nagorno-Karabakh.

Oh very merry, Azeri

Outside the terrible Baku airport, where I once transited for two hours, sits the beautiful nation of Azerbaijan.

Tomorrow the country faces Election Day, and its ex-communist government is expected to remain in power. Why? Because the people are happy. The election may well be rigged, but the bottomline is that the people are happy.

Even if it wasn't rigged, it's a shame that president Ilham Aliyev had to resort to techniques to ensure his party's parliamentary reelection, something ex-Communist leaders are known to do.

Who won't be happy with Aliyev's party parliamentary reelection? Armenia and the U.S.

Armenia is fighting Azerbaijan in a dispute for the Nagorno-Karabakh territory, which is alarmingly similar to the Kashmir dispute between India and Pakistan. Armenians perhaps were hoping that a change in Azeri leadership or parliamentary strength would lead to a policy change.

Nagorno-Karabakh was originally considered a part of Azerbaijan, and in the late 80s Armenian separatists declared it their own region, which created confusion about who it belonged to. When Communism fell in 1991, both Armenia and Azerbaijan considered the region part of their country, which initiated the conflict between the two.

U.N. considers Nagorno-Karabakh a part of Azerbaijan, though it shows more Armenian influence. People have died in the conflict, and constant military exchanges are frustrating people, who want a resolution ASAP. The fight with Armenia ties Azeris to Aliyev; as long as the president shows strength against Armenia, his party will keep the popular vote.

The U.S. helped create revolutions in Georgia and Ukraine, but may have to wait a bit longer for Azerbaijan. Azerbaijan is an oil-rich state and as more Caspian oil reserves are found, it will grow more. Both Russia and U.S. want a piece of Azerbaijan, and are trying hard to expand their sphere of influence in Azerbaijan with economic cooperation.

Russia benefits from Aliyev's party's power in the Milli Mejlis (parliament), as it will retain its sphere of influence around the Caspian Sea and in the Caucasus, a strategically important region for oil. Until the ex-Communists remain, so will the pro-Russian slant. By default, the Azeri government will want to maintain a good friendship with Russia as it shares the Caspian Sea and a border with Russia. And oil builds relationships.

Not only public support, but Aliyev's smartness as a politician will keep him and the Aliyev dynasty in power for the future. As is with ex-Soviet nations, Azerbaijan's 2003 presidential polls were considered rigged -- this time, a confident Aliyev has opened up the elections to the international community, asking them to come and view the transparency for themselves.

The U.S. believes the current elections are democratically more representative, but I expect them to issue a statement saying it was partly rigged. Expect a few governments to repeat that, and Russia praising it, as they share a good relationship with Aliyev.

Human Rights Watch says this election is partly rigged -- they have accused the government of using the police to intimidate opposition candidates.

Aliyev's government clamped down on media to ensure his party, New Azerbaijan, gets favorable coverage, reports stated. He has also arrested and prevented demonstration by opposition parties.

A weak opposition, led by Azerbaijan Democratic Party, has no legitimate leader present, and that benefits Aliyev. During an attempt to return to Baku from the U.S. afer being in exile for 9 years, ADP leader Rasul Guliyev was detained before he could even enter the country. He currently is wanted in Azerbaijan for misappropriating $100 million+. Other opposition party members have been arrested under fraudulent charges. Once the election is over, they perhaps will be given a threat or two, released, and asked to move on with life.

Aliyev's father, Heydar Aliyev, became Azerbaijan's head in 1969 when the country was under Soviet Russia. He shuttled between Moscow and Azerbaijan, until he fell ill in 2003 and passed on the presidential baton to his son. I didn't know this tidbit, but Heydar Aliyev was Kremlin's first Islamic politburo member.

A remote chance says that opposition parties could unite to oust Aliyev's party to dominate the parliament, but it's remote. So, we have the same old Soviet story repeating itself -- dictators posing as democracy supporters. However, this time, Aliyev might just make his party's power legit.

And that pisses me off. Why do some already legit democracies struggle to find their bearings?