Thursday, October 19, 2006

A sample Diwali day in India

Some Diwali tidbits as seen over years in India:

-> 6:40AM, the doorbell rings, and the milkman shows up, asking for a "Diwali baksheesh." Mom hand out Rs. 40, and no, that ain't enough. "I've worked so hard, gotten up early in the morning." Got a point, Mom adds Rs. 40 more. "And you better stop mixing water with the milk from now, or no more baksheesh." Milkman makes a run for it with his huge water bottle.

-> 7:15AM, newspaper delivery guy shows up. Perhaps the only day he reliably delivers the complete set of newspapers. More "Diwali Baksheesh." Mom hands Rs. 40, and paperguy says "What memsaheb? I served you so well!" Memsaheb gets livid, and pops up an annual list of the days on which he didn't deliver newspapers (like 183 days or something). "Either take the baksheesh or give it back." Paperguy scoots.

-> Cable TV repair guy shows up, around 10:25 a.m., to check the wires. "Baksheesh, madam." Mom's a bit blank. "But yesterday another cable guy came," she says. "Madam, he is cheat! I am the real cable guy!" His proof? Some bare cable wires, RadioShack type. Mom goes on "Cable TV is working fine, maybe you have come to the wrong flat."

-> Afternoon newspaper guy shows up at around 2:15, Mom is sleeping. Dad deals with this dude. "Diwali Baksheesh, sahib." Dad pops out Rs. 80. "What saheb, Memsaaheb promised more." Dad pops out Rs. 200 more. Mom finds out, she gets angry on Dad. "One thing Ma didn't teach you was how to bargain."

Diwali's awesome in India, except for visiting a crowded temple to pay respect to Krishna and his 16384 wives. Inadvertently, the slippers you leave outside get stolen.


Blogger sinusoidally said...

I love Diwali in India inspite of the slippers that get stolen. You forgot the Baksheesh for the post man, all of a sudden he starts delivering mail by hand! Only it's been eight long years since I have been there for Diwali...

4:14 AM  
Blogger Khakra said...

true.. there's nothing like celebration when it comes to Diwali in India (and dandiya!). Time for you to visit, isn't it? The postman and the garbage guy are the only people who really deserve the baksheesh. other guys are crooks

3:54 PM  
Blogger venus said...

comon, it's not as bad of Diwali in India as it sounds here..
It sure is LOT more fun in India during Diwali, than anywhere.

wish a a very Happy Diwali!

9:16 PM  
Blogger Khakra said...

absolutely venus, diwali is much more enjoyable than what i make it out to be. the firecrackers, foods and general mood.. it's like no other celebration yearlong. but it's also a funny period.. all these fellas popping out of nowhere asking for "Baksheesh." makes it more thrilling! my bro's slippers actually got stolen... a cheap bata pair, still wondering why

7:37 PM  

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