Strip

(Rated R. Includes profanity, and comments that some women may find disrespectful. Absolutely classless entry, but I HAD to write this.)

It feels like a military school at home on Wednesday evenings, when roommate E's favorite trifecta of TV shows play. Starts with Tyra Banks' 'Model' show, some program, ending with 'Project Runaway.' She orders complete silence -- no clanking pans, talking on phone or eating toast. Sitting on the table after language class, I watch those disastrous shows -- I have no choice.

That is where I spotted Anchal, the Indian-American supermodel. She's cute, not necessarily super hot -- she doesn't induce my animal instinct, the way Sheetal Sheth does. Can Anchal be really sexy? Last week's Model episode had the answer, when wannabe models were shown how to be "sexy," not "slutty."

I was in the kitchen when I heard something like "I will teach you how to be sexy, not slutty," and my eyes popped open. I instinctively shouted, "STRIP, STRIP, WOOHOO!!" I mean, come on, I told you I was an SOB.

Hungry for more, I ran for the TV. E gave me a nasty glance -- she's all about women's rights and hates disrespect to women. I wasn't budged though, E's intense, dirty look can be pretty sexy, so hey, why not induce and enjoy that too.

Alas, the segment was nothing more than striptease fluff. E didn't want to hear, but I shouted, cheered and jeered with the segment asking them to do certain 'sexy' moves and yes, they reciprocated. Butt slaps, chest forward, that dirty, seductive look and other small knick knacks that add up. It was enjoyable, no doubt.

If the show's definition of sexy is being a stripper, how about two hot women dandling their pucking lips with each other as they strip for starters? Live performances may be found at Zeitgeist in SF on a warm Saturday night.

E looked at me in full horror. I was crashing her party, but she was impressed at how the wannabe models were responding to my will. We get lightly flirtatious at times, but she had never seen me like this.

She shouted: "I didn't expect an Indian to be like this!"

"Oh come on! An Indian isn't allowed to watch a striptease?" I cried.

She smiled, for once on a Wednesday evening. Thank goodness she wasn't going to beat me with a broom.

Poor Anchal struggled, she just couldn't be sexy. I don't know what a slut is -- maybe it's a term women assign to other women. The other women tried hard to be "sexy," one stood out, but it just wasn't a dirty stripshow that I expected.

Then, it was back to the same old garbage, so I headed back to my room. Don't know if Anchal was booted.

Over light banter next day, E asked me: "Why do I watch so much trashy TV?" This quirkiness is what makes her so awesome. I consoled her, saying "atleast you aren't listening to Billy Joel after a long day of work!"

(Postscript: Happy Halloween mum and dad, sorry if this entry makes you want to disown me. Back intellectual stuff that makes you proud soon, promise..)